Turning the "Grr" into an "I'm going!"

I made a list of places I want to go.

Some are in Missouri, some the nation, some the world.

Well, I guess they're all in the world. Outer space isn't on the list at this time.

Making this list was kind of cliche, and also frightening for me. Yes, frightening.

Because you guys need to understand--and if you've known me for a particularly long time you might already know this--that I say "no" a lot. To myself, that is.

I talk myself out of things before I even let myself make an opening argument for considering going somewhere or doing something cool, fun, risky, expensive, something that might be beautiful or new, might make me feel for once that I did something big I wanted to do instead of just continually thinking about the fact that I haven't done it, as I flip through channels for the millionth bajillionth time.

Seriously. No, no, no. That is my automatic refrain. I hardly ever tell myself I can do something.

"Of course you'll go to Italy someday, Bailey." "You wanna visit a winery in Missouri? Absolutely, we can make that happen!"

No, the above thoughts are--no pun intended; well, maybe--foreign to me. Instead I hang out on Facebook and think:

"Ugh. Look at so-and-so hanging out in Germany. Mom and Dad must have paid for that..." "Oh sure, if you grew up with missionary parents, then it must be easy to have the easygoing world travel mentality." "Jealous, jealous, jealous." Or, simply, and probably most often:

"Grrrrrr."

Well I made a list. It's a step. I need to kick my little ass into positive-thinking gear (is there a store where I can get some positive-thinking gear? On a budget?) and tell myself that, one at a time, I can at least visit some of these places. And I will perhaps have the chance to visit all of them, eventually, if it's in God's will.

Well, if you could assist in kicking my ass with emails, phone calls, in-person encouragements, as well as pray for my attitude,* that would be awesome.

And if you're curious, here's the list (it's not complete):

1. Carlsbad Caverns, N.M.
2. Overlook Mountain House, Woodstock, N.Y.
3. Hermann Wine Trail, Hermann, Mo.
4. Italy
5. Greece
6. England
7. Australia/New Zealand
8. Memphis, Tenn. (been there twice, actually, but would like to make a longer visit; I have been to the Civil Rights Museum, which is amazing, you should really try and go (look at me, preaching at you**))
9. New England
10. Philadelphia, Pa.
11. Birmingham, Ala.
12. Big Sur, Calif.
13. Lake Tahoe
14. Hawaii
15. Alaska (I'm not sure if this is very high on my list, but I'm gonna put it in here)
16. Savannah, Ga.
17. Cape Girardeau, Mo. (been here, too, but only briefly)
18. Rockford, Ill. (I have a friend who lived there, not sure if she still does; if she's moved, this locale might get the boot from the list)

*(attitude, meaning: not in the sense that this is about me just pleasing Bailey, but that it's kind of about a bigger issue that I am legitimately, seriously pretty negative pretty often, and being jealous is no way to live fruitfully. Me being selfish and just wanting to travel rather than having a willing servant heart is a whole other issue that we will continually return to, I'm sure, here at the Daily Bailey)

**Also, the Apartheid Museum in South Africa is incredible, and ironically considering the content of this post I have been there. If you can go to the Apartheid Museum, I strongly urge you to. You will be in there for hours, and you will be changed. And while you're in the country, you might as well visit Robben Island.