All the single ladies (and gents)

Some thoughts on living alone/filling the time in your twenties:

It really is an effort, and an ongoing strengthening exercise to fill your time. I know that I over think a lot of things, so when I spend too much time refreshing my email page and feel badly for not doing something else with my time, I assume that it is in part just me; as in, others either fill their time with more unique, productive things, or they just enjoy the excess free time and don't worry about it.

But I don't always think that it's just me. I mean, what exactly are other single people in my cohort doing with their time that doesn't involve too much time on the Internet or in front of the TV?

I mean, I know that I am not a workaholic, I don't need to fill my extra time with extra meetings, or group involvements, or team sports in order to feel satisfyingly busy all the time. In fact if I go more than two nights in a row with a social gathering I start to think more and more about when I'll have time to read and pet the cat.

But the flipside is having way too much time to just sit and think. Or, click around on YouTube or go on a lengthy walk while thinking.

I've been watching things on Netflix to fill some of my time, some films providing more viewing success than others; one that had me crying for the majority of the last 30 minutes of it. WARNING: If you're going to watch "Listen to your heart," have tissues on hand. I was just telling Deniz that I saw a review of the film that said it would be a good date movie.

Yeah, if you want to sob on your first date.

It wasn't a horrible movie, in fact it was reminiscent of "Once," with music tied in throughout (although I have my own beef with how "Once" ended, too...Riley: "You didn't expect it to be a love story, did you?" Me: "Yeah!").

Anyway.

So let's review my day: A late sleep, some scones on the love seat while watchin' the tube, a run/walk, a shower, some time in TV/Internet oblivion. Then I ordered Chinese food, went to pick it up, then watched...the film...made some iced tea to fight this headache that is still with me. Watched some TV. Then I was on round number...? of checking the email/Facebook when my phone rang.

Thankfully.

I truly believe that God puts people in my life, period, but I also believe that He times when he puts them there. I believe He's in charge of the timing of everything, and I really believe it's Him who puts a familiar face at the grocery store or the name of someone I love in my email inbox when I'm having a sloggish (yes, I just made that a word) moment of what-to-do-with-myself-for-the-next-3-hours-because-I-don't-have-a-roommate-or-a-spouse.

Oh and by the way it was Deniz on the phone, my pal from school who makes me smile over and over again who is in Cali this summer.

He asked, as always, to speak to Dibbs.

But, as always, he settled for speaking to me instead. 55 (Dibby just typed those two 5's)

So there ya have it. This evening in my life the time was filled with an unexpected phone call (oh, and Mom called earlier when I was still in my that-movie-was-so-sad haze; I appreciated that phone call too, of course, and was actually planning on calling her to debrief about the movie anyway), a sad movie, a monstrous headache to negatively distract, and lots of the usual puttering to fill in the gaps. Currently I watch "Will & Grace" at midnight on weeknights--it's part of the puttering.

Last night I had a girls' night over here at my place. We painted nails, drank wine, laughed. God provides. Days are just different from one another, when one doesn't have a family of her own to build a schedule around. Sometimes this is aggravating, exhausting, depressing. Other times the spontaneity is something that I occasionally realize I might miss when, God willing, that family does come along and my days are more routine-filled.