The rules of moving

1. Make sure there is a roll of toilet paper in your old place and your new place.

True, there's no quicker way to bond with your new neighbors (or say goodbye to the old ones) than by asking to use their room of rest, but you might prefer to have your own TP on hand to break the place in.

2. To make use of the aforementioned TP, keep hydrated.

This weekend I partook of Coke, beer, Gatorade, water, iced tea, coffee, and wine. My sweat glands thanked me.

3. Make sure you know where the tissue is.

In case someone has a mild to moderate breakdown with the stress and possible homesickness associated with moving.

4. Don't snap your fingers while driving between homes, listening to Shania Twain.

Your forearms are more sore than you think from lifting all that furniture, and the act of snapping will hurt.

5. If you are about to fall asleep at 5 p.m., power through and order a pizza instead.

Chances are you've forgotten to eat at regular meal times, and you've been burning up mega calories, so make sure you get some food in your tum before crashing, to maintain your basic grip on reality. Naps are allowed, of course, but you may find that you will instead catch a second wind to organize your bathroom supplies.

6. Take breaks to recap with your moving posse.

I almost guarantee the following will happen: one moment you will be organizing your underwear, happy as a clam, and the next you will be hyperventilating, wondering when the sorting and cleaning will all be over.

Breathe.

Grab your roomie, or someone who's helping you with all the moving, call Mommy, I don't care contact someone -- and talk it out.

Remind yourself that it's one step at a time.

It will all get done when it gets done.

Prioritize.

Tell yourself that your desk supplies can live temporarily in a box, your stuffed animals can stay in a suitcase, you can wear mismatched, sweaty clothing until you dig out your quarters for laundry.

Just make sure you keep your live pets out of suitcases and closed boxes and you're doing OK.

Hug that roomie of yours and breathe. Turn the music up and get back to it! You're a champ and you can do this! (Can you tell I'm giving myself a pep talk right now?)

7. Take the opportunity to turn over a new leaf.

As we've been unpacking, Abby and I have been running to each other's bedrooms saying, "Look at this!" and then showing the other...a postcard, or seeing if the other wants a wallet, or a necklace, or a dress that we're getting rid of.

At one point last night, Abby asked if I'd be willing to look at her socks.

Duh.

"This is a new leaf," she said, gesturing to her socks, rolled and lined up in colorful rows.

We're both using this move as a chance to make some life changes. To eat better and save some money by cooking at home more often. To read the Bible together. To be more clean and organized.

While reminding myself that I will be living temporarily amongst some mayhem, I am trying my best to channel Martha Stewart as I unpack. Slowly as I sift through things, I pick up yet another rubber band (WHY do I have 8,000 of these in my possession?) and walk it over to the desk drawer. Hair tie? You go in the bathroom. Old rusted penny? You go in the teeny cat-shaped bank.

Slowly. Surely.

This cleanliness might all go to you-know-what later, but for now, I'm trying. Turning over that leaf. Why do I have 5 pairs of headphones? I have no clue how things got so out of hand in that department, but I can tell you exactly where to find them in my (walk in!) closet.

8. Remind yourself that it's not easy living in two places at once, and you're only human.

Moving's obnoxious. I'm breaking out like whoa these days because of the stress. Every time I go to my old place to get more stuff, I can't believe there's still so much crap to gather up, particularly since I've lived in this city for a mere three years and arrived a la Maria von Trapp with, well, more than a suitcase and a guitar, but with little enough to compactly fit in my Corolla.

It's not natural to live in two places at once -- and my heart goes out to children of divorced parents everywhere. Last night I used Abby's shower and one of her towels because I just haven't been able to get shampoo carted over to my new bathroom yet.

Get over it, be resourceful, run to the drugstore. This too shall pass. And you have a new pad! Yay! Be grateful. Order a pizza and soldier on.