Edgy

Do you ever feel edgy?

I'd say that's the best way to describe how I've been feeling the past several days.

I wouldn't say I'm in a bad mood. And while exhausted, I wouldn't say that "tired" is my primary symptom/emotion/state of being.

I just find myself gettin' a little, well, edgy, when things start to slip out of alignment.

Car moving too slow ahead of me?

Here comes the edge.

Cross stitch thread knotting when it shouldn't?

Edge.

Waiting for Alex to prepare the salad so I can dump the chick peas out of the colander and put the strawberries in the colander (don't ask)?

EDGE!!!!

I've also been finding myself fluctuating between feeling stressssssssed to "I've GOT THIS!".

One minute I'm biting my fingernails (figuratively, if I actually bit my nails) in worry, overwhelmed by all that must be done, and the next I'm walking down the hallways of the office like a BOSS.

Did I mention I'm going to be out of town the next three weekends?

So many loose ends to coordinate at work, gotta get the cat coordinated with various sitters, take the trash out so the apartment doesn't reek when I return.

I conked out on Alex's couch last night.

The night before? Hour plus nap after work.

I'm being tested to my core. I know, I know, I get to travel, and that's where most of this stress is coming from -- preparing to be away from my home, job, and pet for a bit. I know I'm privileged.

But I also know that I'm tired.

Because I can feel the edge. It surprises me each time, as if I suddenly become the Hulk, when I thought I was just Bruce Banner. I mean, Bailey Brewer.

This tiny little rage pops up, not enough to make my skin hot, but enough to take me aback and ask, "Bails, what's the deal?"

I'm hoping to get drinks with a beloved pal tonight. It might be stressful to cram one more thing in the calendar, but I also think some laughs and a couple cold ones might be the ticket to smooth my edges.

Over and out,
Bailey