Nerd Calculation

Let's look at some numbers, shall we?

Last night I made a stack of books in an attempt to tidy up, and in realizing the intimidating height of the stack, decided to count the actual number of books in the stack.

Total number?
13

Total number if you count the Bible (which I do, in terms of considering it an actual "book," but if we're looking at books that I am likely to finish within weeks rather than years, then I might cross it off the list)?
14

Number of those books which are checked out from the library?
10

Number of books in the stack which are nonfiction (I'm gonna leave the Bible out of this argument and let you decide that one for yourselves)?
9

Fiction?
4 (I'm highly biased in my reading selections)

Amount I presently owe to the public library in fines?
Well, it is unclear whether I owe:

$16.95
or
$18 even

All but one of the books that I owe fines for are returned, thus I can no longer rack up fines on them, BUT the one staggering book is still checked out, accumulating 15 cents in debt per day to Bailey Daily's name...

My parents are probably pouring glasses of wine right now, having an emergency conference to plan how they will rescue me from the collection agencies. No seriously, they will probably talk to me about this for realsies in the next week.

What is really sad* is I am at the library now, and I do not have the one book that is racking up fines with me so that I can return it.

Awesome.

What is even more sad* is that when I log off this computer, I will quite possibly stroll on over to the biography section, then on to world history, and pick up a few more bound beauties to take home and add to the stack, which will probably at that point topple.

Dear eligible bachelors, wouldn't you love me for your wife? I hope you're better with money (and hopeless library obsessions) than I am... ;)

*What is really exciting, not sad, is that while I was sitting here typing I heard a little girl saying, "Mama," and kept thinking, "That sounds like Lynn's little girl Claire." Turned around, it was Lynn and Claire and new baby Charlie. Holla!! What's even funnier is Lynn saw me walk into the library and didn't recognize me. Maybe we should carry pictures of each other in our wallets, since we just had dinner together three nights ago and apparently can no longer recognize each other.