Uncle!

I have had a headache since approximately 9am. We are looking at going on 12 hours. I have taken Tylenol, aspirin, naproxen sodium. I have consumed coffee, tea, more coffee, soda, more soda. And no, it is not a caffeine headache, because I had the ache before consuming the caffeine. I have taken Sudafed, so as to release pressure in my sinuses. I have exercised, because usually the body alignment provided by stretching plus the blood circulation from cardio work wonders on my neck-inspired headaches. I have even flossed my teeth, because I find that doing so releases tension between my teeth, so they do not press so tightly together, thus releasing pressure in my jaw line and then the rest of my head (I am pretty sure this logic is sound).

It finally occurred to me that I probably have a migraine and I thought, "Ah. I'll take my prescription migraine medicine that I forget I have." Mom immediately said, "Why don't you do that," a statement more than a question. Dad immediately said, with fatherly concern, "I don't know, you've taken so much already..." So now I'm torn.

I have read just about the entire print-out of drug information accompanying my prescription drug. You know, the piece of paper that's about as thin as a page of the Bible, and folded about as many times as a road map, and the very first thing it shows you is a diagram of the molecular bond structure of your drug, as if anyone but a pharmacist knows what that means? My prescription contains naproxen sodium, which I have already taken today (just OTC naproxen sodium--which is different from just naproxen, btw--not my prescription, containing naproxen sodium--have I lost you yet?), so I have been trying to find out what qualifies as an overdose (note: so I can avoid an overdose). Furthermore I have googled "tylenol naproxen interaction" and "aspirin naproxen interaction."

And do you know where I landed? Right where I started. I'm too scared to take a prescription pill, I'm not going to put any more caffeine in my body. So I think that leaves me with a headache. Which is where I've been all day. But I've got news for you, if I wake up with a headache, I'm poppin' the Rx. Like a piece of morning candy. Mark my written words.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go upstairs and consult with my parents one more time and see if they can reach a consensus and let me take one more med to fend off my misery--perhaps two Advil. (Maybe it is not a horrible thing that I live with my parents, considering it is like having two pharmacists at arm's length.)