Untruth

Okay.

Somebody's lying.

In fact, I'm pretty sure a lot of people are.

Think about this with me for a moment. If you need to go to the bathroom, go ahead, and then come back and think about this with me for a moment. I want your concentration level to be optimal, so go ahead and empty that bladder.

Okay. Imagine with me that you are calling a phone number with an automated menu, e.g. "For Bob the Builder, press 1, for relationship issues, press 2, for movie suggestions, press 3..."

But you'll notice I missed something, didn't I?

I skipped the part that they almost always say before they start listing menu items. They say,

"Please listen carefully...

...as our menu options have changed."

You know what? I'm no longer buying it. There is no way that the menu items have just changed every time you call. Those options have to remain static for good portions of time. I used to be a secretary, I know these things. When it comes to voicemail, you don't want to deal with it any more than is necessary. I don't recall ever seeing a secretary going into the voicemail system to change the menu options, and certainly not often enough that a condescending, somewhat-fibbing "please listen carefully" message would be required.

Honestly, I'd rather have them say, "please listen carefully because the menu options are specific, and your need may be addressed in option 8 instead of option 2." Just don't lie to me.

There's a line in the book "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" about a character named Bailey and it says something along the lines of: there are two rules with Bailey. Don't ask her how she's feeling, and don't lie.

I laughed so hard at the relevance to real-life Bailey that I had to show my mom and she laughed too, nodding in agreement.