Bailey, meet Bailey

If my 13-year-old self opened my DVD cabinet, she would not believe she was at my/her residence. There are way too many chick flicks in there.

If she continued to be nosy (she/I would) and look around further, she would not understand why there are dresses in the closet.

"What the heck?" she would say.

She would say "heck" because she had a very clean mouth until college.

She would be shocked to find Facebook posts--posted by her!--supporting the University of Missouri. She would be disgusted as well.

She would then wonder what the heck Facebook is.

She would be relieved to see a University of Kansas license plate on the car out front. (She would slather on sunscreen (SPF 45) before setting foot outside.)

She would then see the palm trees around her and think, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..." and she would be very surprised to discover that her future self would be brave enough to move so far away by herself.

She would think, "It never snows here, that's sad." Then 27-year-old Bailey would snap, "Get used to it!"

She would think it's awesome that she lives on property with a pool.

She would see cross stitching projects on her bed and say, "Hmm, well I guess I picked that hobby back up again. With relish."

She might wonder if she finally had her first kiss.* She would wonder how long she had to wait.**

She would, like her future self, love to exercise. They would both enjoy The Babysitters' Club movie and the Wayne's World movies.

She would look at emails and wonder what Gmail is, who Courtney, Nick, Corie, Annabelle, James, Jenny, Jenny and Caitlin are.

"Match.com?" she would wonder. "What is that, some sort of assistant in picking out coordinating clothes?"

27-year-old me would chime in, "It might be more useful if it were."

She would be very nervous if you told her that she had a date this Saturday. She would also probably be relieved and excited to know that she is being asked out 14 years in the future.

She would wonder why there are beer bottles in her home. She would be happy to find the home cigarette free.

She would be happy to see a cross hanging from her rear view mirror. She would be happy to find "Mom," "Dad," "Kelly," "Patrick" and "Riley" in her cell phone. It would take her a while to figure out how to find them, though. But she would find them. She's a smarty pants.

*she has.
**A while.