All Dolled Up

Last Week:

While cleaning my closet, I come across a tub full of my troll dolls that I used to collect. Open tub, investigate, find a tiny, naked troll with rainbow hair on a necklace chain. "Sweet!" Promptly adorn self with troll doll necklace. Pimpin'.

A few days later:

Wearing necklace. Put necklace on Riley, who is on his way to Best Buy to purchase a laptop. Urge him to wear it for purchasing excursion. Urge him to act natural while making purchase and wearing troll doll necklace. Am shot down. Crack jokes about wearing necklace to work, and pretending the troll is my manager. "Excuse me, Ma'am, let me check with my manager...[lift troll pendant to mouth, whisper to Ralph (given name), lift Ralph to ear for response]...I'm sorry, Ma'am, Ralph says we can't do that..."

Yesterday:

Making mac & cheese (my specialty, FYI), hear garage door open. Get excited, was not expecting brother home so soon. In excitement, place necklace on Riley, explaining honor signified in the wearing of the necklace.

Minutes later:

Riley removes necklace. Bailey's face drops, heart crushed. Why won't he just wear the necklace? He retorts, "I wore it to the mailbox." (As if that's good enough). Go to white board in kitchen, where list of chores is written. Begin drawing stars next to specific items, signifying them as "neglected" actions. Scribble stars next to "trash out" and "vacuum." Add "wear troll necklace" to list. Draw star beside.

Today:

Tell Brad about troll necklace jokes (troll as manager). Brad laughs, then asks: "Do you guys talk a lot?"

My response:

"Me and the troll? Or me and Riley?"

Brad laughs again, harder this time.