That darn (cute!) cat

I was planning on writing a snippet on car doors (slamming, etc.--perhaps we will see this post in the future), but I just opened an email in my inbox and decided that tonight we will have a guest writer here on the Daily Bailey. Ladies and Gentlemen (and pets, if any, which I hope there are--reading pets), please welcome my little bro bro, Riley. Here is the email Riley sent me tonight, recording the actions of our father and our family cat, Dibbs, after my parents arrived home from vacation:

"So Mom and Dad just got home.

Here is the cat's response (all within the first 30 minutes):

-fluff tail
-sniff duffel bag
-run away from people
-sniff suitcase
-run away from people
-lie down and submit to petting from Mom
-run away from Riley to back door
-go outside and immediately go nuts chasing bugs
-come back inside, greet Dad
-begin doing his "bury the coffee" move [Dibbs has what Mom calls a "trick," in which he will paw the area around a mug of coffee as if he were burying his litter, because he does not enjoy the smell] all over the living room floor (while Dad flirts with cat)
-continue burying the living room floor (Dad continues to flirt)
-Dad starts cursing
-Dibbs has proceeded to poop right in front of Dad*
-Dibbs lies down in entry way as if nothing is wrong [well in his mind, I suppose nothing was]

the end."

This email was sent with the subject line "dibby...:P" (complete with the tongue-out smiley face emoticon)

*Dear kind landlords of mine, Dibby probably did this because he was confused/excited to see his "dad." He also probably did so because his litter hadn't been scooped in multiple days (usually Mom's or my job). I will be sure to faithfully scoop his litter when he arrives here in his new home so this offense is not repeated. Please do not kick me out. :) Sincerely, Bailey