What I'm doing this summer

I am realizing a childhood dream.

I have

FINALLY

enrolled in Beginning Ballet.

I am loving it/floundering within it. I feel like a robotic dog; my arms feel stiff and boxy, my body seems to lumber, not glide. But 1, I have wanted to do this my entire life and am now, at the ripe age of 25, finally able to do so. Not to mention, this class is the perfect stress relief for these final two months before school starts. While I am so excited and anxious for graduate school, finding a place to live and tying up loose ends in the meantime, all the while swallowing the huge change that is about to begin, becomes a bit of a burden.

Which brings me to point 2, and that would be that I love the adventure of trying something completely brand new. When I am using all my adult concentration on mastering the arabesque, I truly cannot concentrate on the fact that I haven't found an apartment yet. That is the power of learning something new. It is so attention-hogging that you have no choice but to put all your energy into learning just that one new thing. And during this class, oh people, I screw up right and left (literally, as well as left and right). The phrase "fake it 'til you make it" has never meant so much to me prior to this week. But every once in a while we move very slowly on the barre, and all my insanity-induced time spent running in the hot sun and my flexibility repay me in offering their grace, and I think, "Hmm, I think I'm actually getting this move right."

I learned in my intro Psychology class way back in high school that if you set goals that are too high or too low you will never feel very accomplished. If your goals are too low, you will always reach them but you won't feel like you really climbed a mountain. On the contrary, if you aim too high, you'll rarely reach what you're after--because you haven't spent enough time training properly--and you'll end up constantly frustrated, with paralyzed self-esteem. Aim for the middle (my specialty, as a middle child), and you're set. You won't always succeed, but each time you do you'll know you achieved something that before you had no idea you could. Graduate school will bring its challenges, I'm sure, and hopefully, successes. But currently? I've got my eye (and hands, fingers resting gently) on the barre.