Just sayin'

I should not be a spring break coordinator.

Really, I should not be a coordinator of a great many things, because while I'd be good at some elements of the process/planning/excitement factors, I'd be less than enthused for most of the follow through.

Anyway.

If I were a spring break coordinator, everyone following my planning would come back to school tired.

The cornfield of journalism. Cornfield of dating? Meh, of both.

I had a meeting with my advisor last semester and as I told her why I left the field of social work--in part due to emotional/anxiety overload, "taking work home" with me, etc.--she stopped me and asked if I'm not worried about that within journalism too.

This stopped me for a tic, thoughts flashed through my mind about covering war or doing several stories on mega crime or something, then thought, "Well hopefully I won't get stuck on stories like that," then tried to change the subject.

But since she knows the field, I trusted her reaction and have thought about it from time to time.

I have to say, I didn't expect such "taking work home" to occur with the current story I'm working on. Topic?

Dating.

I mean, I'm an introspective person as is (had ya noticed?), and it's spring break so I've got some extra hours on hand for some thinking, but...still.

I just feel a little more smacked in the face than I expected. Perhaps a lot more. I mean I sought out to write this piece to make a voice for those who are basically still single (or were previously single, then attached, now not for whatever reason), just to kind of ask why, what that looks like, get the voices of how that feels from the people actively feeling it--the fun, the sad, the ugly.

I guess I just thought 25 years previous experience of singlehood and the thinking that comes with it would make the embarking of this project less than novel.

This is certainly not the first time that I have thought wrong.

I am finding--I guess I already knew it, but now I'm putting a finger on it?--that thinking about being single, in the more serious, scared, sad way rather than the "Let's go clubbin'!" way*, can creep up on you whenever it--pardon my French--damn well pleases.

You can be Miss Positive Polly, hope springs eternal, and then if your thoughts decide to go lonely, well, at least I'm finding in my experience, they will. I certainly suggest, after honestly feeling these negative feelings for a while to grow and trust that you will someday learn from them, to continue on in your Positive Polly efforts, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna have to swat your arms at some big obnoxious plants in your way while keeping that chin up (when I say "plants," you're gonna have to bear with me and come join me in the visual cornfield analogy I'm picturing. Thank you for cooperating with Ms. Kansas here).

This is just what I'm finding. I hope and assume I'm not alone. Not that I wish thoughts of loneliness on any of you, duh. I just don't need any more proof that I'm the odd one out; sometimes I like to fit in. Come on.

*To be fair, while I often wish to go out dancing, I seldom actually wish to go to your typical, *cough* sleazy club. But solid tunes and willing (not super drunk) dance partners? Yes. Please!

badTunes

I am remembering with great fondness the two week spring breaks that were provided each year by my undergraduate facility.

S

I

G

H

.

Ah, let's do another one for good measure:

S

I

G

H

.

I am in one of the most restful environments I can be, yet I feel time slipping through my fingers each day. I wake up tired, go to bed tired.

During Thanksgiving break I spent much of the week feeling as if I had just woken from a nap, as I was just completely and utterly exhausted. I am exhausted right now as well, however the difference between this break and that break (well, there's more than one that we won't get into right here, right now, because then you'll get a very large emotional exhale from me) is that during the last break I really didn't do much work. This time around I'm trying to grab my work by the horns. Because, well I'm afraid I can't afford not to.

Primarily the work is in the form of a stack of tests to grade--grumble grumble grumble--but I'm also sending emails, setting up interviews for a story, setting alarms at night, and just generally doing adult things that I don't normally adhere to, certainly not when I'm on spring break.

All right. Garumph. That's enough griping from me right now. I should be an adult and go to bed soon, since my body and emotions are screaming at me:

"GO TO BED!!"

Night night. (You know, in a while...)

Ick. "Baby, I Love Your Way" just came on my iTunes. Gotta remedy that. See ya.

And what exactly do you mean when you say...'text'?

So...

The New Adventures of Old Christine is on,

and I just saw the scene where Richard pulls his phone out of his pocket, looks at it, and, confused, hands it to Matthew and says,

"There's words on my phone."

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I love this show so much.

A new look?

Well I thought I was going to get a drastic haircut during break, but Jeni doesn't think it's long enough to donate yet. :(

However, I am grading tests, and all this varied handwriting might drive me to the point of needing glasses...Maybe I'll just recycle my Buddy Holly frames, what do we think? The fortunate thing of going with this choice is I have the majority of Garth's lines memorized already.

Garth: "Go then."

Wayne: "I'm going."
G: "Go!"

W: "I'm gone!"

G: [Hand gesture and exasperated look as such]: