Monday, April 30, 2012

Watch your seat

While I am not mid-Missouri's number one fan, one of the advantages of being a student at Mizzou is the awesome "Tiger Grotto" facility at its student recreation center.

The Grotto hosts a family night on occasion, and some of my pals and I have taken to giving each other family roles/nicknames in honor of the event.

Last night I was with Grandpa and our Trusted Cat (known by day as Deniz and Molly, respectively) and something hilarious happened in the hot tub while we were there.

Well, Cat and I (aka Grams) thought it was hysterical. Grandpa did not see the amusement. Maybe because we were partially laughing at his expense.

Cat and I were seated in the hot tub, and Grandpa came over to join us. As he lowered himself in the water, he realized that his choice of seating on the bench was less than ideal.

Because he sat on a jet.

If you are not laughing right now, then you are probably in Deniz's camp, the Camp Without a Sense of Humor. If you're interested in a brochure for its summer activities, leave a comment below and I'll get you in touch with Deniz.

If you are laughing, welcome to the world of Molly and Bailey.

As Deniz realized his mistake, he quickly yet calmly stood right back up, before he was able to fully sit down on the bench. This was done in a manner similar to that of a cat who has suddenly become frightened and then casually licks its paw with a look of "I meant to do that."

Molly and I lost it right there in the hot tub and then later when we told our Pet Baby Panda (Lydia) about it, I laughed so hard my stomach muscles ached. I can't remember the last time before that that I laughed so hard.

You may have had to be there, but don't worry. Just join us at the next family night. We'll assign you a role* and perform a reenactment. You'll laugh with us, and Deniz will not.

*FYI, intrusive neighbor has already been claimed, by our girl Rosie (her title is not meant to reflect her actual personality)

Friday, April 27, 2012

Budgeting choices

I ordered some salt spray for my hair earlier today. It's supposed to help create a beachy wave look.

So, basically, I paid money for salt water.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Almost bedtime for bloggess and her kitty

How did it get to be 10:00?!

I guess that's what happens when you watch a Nicholas Sparks movie--time flies. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Grading breakfast

Coffee and yogurt do not make for an A+ palate combination.

Yet I drink and eat them together with some regularity.

Happy Monday, peeps. Hope it greets you with peace. And love and happiness.


Sunday, April 22, 2012

Swish of the tongue

I often pause to watch my cat bathe himself.

The human equivalent of this would be like watching someone brush his teeth, which I can't imagine myself having the interest or patience to do.

But with my animal I am transfixed. It is a mundane part of his life. Yet it mesmerizes and calms me, and riddles me with questions and amazement at these bodies God created.

To think about fingernail growth, cages of ribs--just think about that for a sec: a cage.

To think about breathing.

And a cat who licks himself. Seemingly random to us (Dibby just began and finished a little grooming session here on the love seat, now he's napping). But His eye is on the sparrow.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Yeah, I can work a budget

I would like you all to know that for $11.12 (tax INcluded) I just purchased the following to help fill in all the little hunger gaps (and a couple of non-hunger related items) I anticipate to have while at this writing festival I am attending:

2.5 pints of milk
4 fruit punch juice boxes
3 bags of microwave popcorn
6 boxes of raisins
4 Fruit Roll-ups
1 bag frozen green beans
3 string cheeses
4 single serve applesauces (cinnamon)
a notebook for taking notes like a good little festival attendee


a handy, Hawaiian print tote bag (because all I brought with me for toting is a suitcase (too big), backpack (too dorky), and purse (too small and zipper pull is currently not attached))

Dollar Tree is where it's at!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Exciting travel opportunity for you!

So...who wants to take me to the London Olympics?


Any takers?

I will do my best to only practice my British accent in a limited amount while on this vacation.

...maybe. I'm not making a promise about this. If I don't practice it won't get any better, and currently it slips into Scottish within about 5 minutes. And that's just embarrassing.

Monday, April 16, 2012


Filing taxes makes me feel inadequate.

I need a hug.

Who else gets paranoid every year that the IRS is going to come banging down your door and ask you what you thought you were doing when you tried to file without the assistance of a professional?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"Reality" advertising

I don't like to be skeptical of reality television. I'll admit, I turn on selective listening when people start saying that "Keeping up with the Kardashians" is bunk.

But sometimes, I wonder.

Those Febreze commercials? Come on.

If you've created several commercials where you show people being led blindfolded into a room, asking them to take deep breaths and "Tell us what you smell," how do you expect to find people on the street to follow suit who have no prior knowledge of these commercials? You're right. You won't find those people.

First of all, it's pretty creepy to think about being led blindfolded into a room by a stranger and then asked to take deep breaths. Um, no, no and no. In any other circumstance you would never participate in such an activity. Which leads me to believe they probably hire actors, or at least tell these people off the street to pretend they don't know what's going on.

Second, again, we've all seen these commercials! I even know what those blindfolds look like--they're that satiny blue (okay, I watch a lot of TV and thus know this off the top of my head). If someone came up to me on the street and said "We're gonna have you participate in an experiment" and whipped out a piece of blue satin, I would call. their. bluff.

"Shaw right, you're with the Febreze people! I've seen that color before..."

And then if they offered me a handsome sum I would probably pretend to be smelling lilacs and rainbows rather than rotting fish.

Meanwhile, Kardashian authenticity is not up for debate. I'm not ready to stop believing that those sisters are beautiful and funny, that Rob is precious and Bruce is darling.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Thanks, I'm set. And still pale. We get it.

I just got an email saying that I could still view pictures from a race I ran two years ago. Out of curiosity I looked at them.

I do not foresee myself ever ordering race pictures. I do not look too fab at the end of a race. And I look very true to my pale, pale nature in these photos.

No thanks, race photography companies!

However, a pic that was taken in a race I ran with Corie and Cyle last year was pretty hysterical. I did not look attractive, but at least I looked like a lizard, which is good for a smile on a tough, or just mundane (sometimes those are one and the same), day.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Daily Bailey, Licensed Driver

This morning I saw a sign that said "Don't park in drive."

It was telling people not to park in the driveway in front of a building on campus, but I laughed to myself about a different way of interpreting the message, i.e. "Don't park while your car is in drive," as if you would tell someone: "Don't swim on land." Duh.

The sign also reminded me of a poem my dad once wrote for me.

I share a driver's license anniversary (meaning, the day I got my first driver's license) with my friend Kristen. We went through driver's ed together and went to the DMV together, with her mom and my dad, to redeem our laminated prizes. We got them on Lucille Ball's birthday, which is appropriate because we both love her.  When we're in the same town on our anniversary, we go out and do something fun.

Go ahead and say it--we're precious.

On the day we got our licenses, to celebrate we went out for ice cream with our parents afterward.

As I took action to get out of the car--either tried to take the key out of the ignition, or took my foot off the brake, or something--I realized I had missed a step. The car was still in drive.

My dad gave me a look, and I laughed.

Later that night my family presented me with a bouquet of flowers, and they had signed a card. I still have it somewhere. Dad's note was reminiscent of "Roses are red, violets are blue..." and read something along the lines of:

"P" is for Park.
"D" is for Drive.
Try not to mix them up.

So I guess some of us, on certain occasions, need a sign with a more blunt reminder. Luckily for me, Dad told me the secrets of driving back in 2002.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Bigger than basketball

Yesterday in the class I TA for, we had a guest lecturer talk about international reporting.

She pulled up the Newseum website, to look at some front pages of newspapers. She was trying to make the point that international news often gets overlooked and doesn't always make the front page. Her point was stifled a smidge--and ironically, also supported--by the fact that all the front pages had stories about the Kansas-Kentucky game. It was a skewed sample, you might say.

Because we are here at Mizzou, students were snickering at the fact that their (more or less former, now) rival had lost the championship game the night before and, to boot, it was all over the news.

It is times like these where some of us want to shout from the back of the classroom: "Moving on!"

Alas. Eventually we did move on, and talked about things bigger than basketball.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"He does this every Friday"

In an attempt to "overcome" the tradition of being an over thinker, I've come up with a new prayer. Essentially it is a prayer asking to be able to not think so much. I trust that God won't delete my creativity from me if He chooses to mercifully helps me to just quit analyzing anything and everything. I do trust that He chooses that which is good for me, but whether He will choose for me to totally stop being an over thinker, I don't know. In the meantime I'm going to keep praying, because I trust Him and don't want to answer to another.

In addition to this new prayer, I've been trying to incorporate one of Garth Algar's lines into my personal mantras (and I don't say this in a way to cancel out what I just wrote above--I am incorporating this seriously into my life; it's just an added bonus that the way I imagine it being said is in a way that was comedically delivered). And that would be:

"Live in the NOW!"