Monday, February 25, 2013

Camp the Champ

You probably don't know who Colleen Camp is.

But here's why I'm so excited about Colleen Camp. Three simple reasons:

1. She's in The Baby-Sitters Club movie. She plays Stacey McGill's mother.

You might remember her asking Stacey whether or not she ate before she went on a hike with Luca, the hottie hott from Europe.

"Wait, did you eat?"
"Yeah, I grabbed a muffin."
"When did you grab a muffin? I didn't see you grab a muffin."
"I put it in my bag!"

2. She's in Wayne's World. She plays Noah Vanderhoff's (as in, the owner of Noah's Arcade and the sponsor of "Wayne's World") wife.

She came up with the name for Noah's Arcade.

"I just opened my mouth and out it came!" she says.

3. She's in Valley Girl. She plays Julie Richman's mother.

In this film she plays a hippie. Big surprise.

There is a scene where her daughter comes home and she is in a yoga-ish pose that displays her white undies through her '80s leggings. Come on. What a bizarro scene--but Colleen Camp can act it out like a champ, and then go on to star in such additional film greats as Wayne's World and The Baby-Sitters Club.

Clearly, this is all you need to know about Colleen Camp to understand why I think she's great. I mean, this is a triple whammy of great films.

I just noticed she's in Clue, too, which I haven't seen but have wanted to for several years and would probably greatly enjoy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Product placement is right on Target

On Saturday I went to Target and bought some candles.

I asked a sales person where the matches were kept.

She told me they were near the paper goods. Toilet paper and such.

Good move, Target. Keep the ignition near the kindling.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Attention men on dating websites:

If you would like me to not be interested in dating you, please do one or more of the following as you choose how to personalize your profile:

1. Post a picture of yourself with another woman. Please do this. This is great. This makes it clear to me that a)you are absolutely not taken, and b)you are not a player.
2. Don't bother to place a caption with this photo that indicates this woman is your sister or your cousin. This is also helpful.
3. Please post a picture of yourself at a shooting range. This will get my pacifist self very excited to date you and very excited about our date to the shooting range that we will never go on.
4. Post a picture of your flexed muscles. This leads me to believe you are not arrogant.
5. Mention that you are laid back. Because no one else is.
6. Mention that you have a great sense of humor.
7. Tell me how much you love the outdoors. Because no one else loves being outdoors, and this is all that I'm looking for in a man.
8. Write "Anything else you want to know, just ask."
9. You know, while we're at it, go ahead and write "just ask" one more time, so that I know you really mean it.
10. Tell me how driven and goal-oriented you are. This helps me to know that you are uptight and already have your mind made up about things. This lets me know that you are one of my favorite types of people--who I am very compatible with, to boot--and that you have a lot of room for me to come into your life and offer my opinion about how we might live life together.
11. Post group pictures, so that a)I can't tell which one in the picture that you are, and b)so that you are about as big as a paperclip on my computer screen, thus I can get a really good look at you.
12. Post pictures of all the places around the world you've traveled to, so I can know that you've already been there and now won't go with me and so I can be insanely jealous about all your stories. Triggering my jealousy node is the best way to get me excited about making out with you. I love being jealous.

I might post some more thoughts on this as they come to me. But this ought to keep you busy in updating your profile for now.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Who says your lunch can't be your valentine?

It really is quite amazing--or impressive, or disgusting, however you want to look at it--how much of a mess I can make in one week, let alone a day, an hour.

Last Saturday I spent most of the day in cleaning. Doing the same thing today.

Also, I am kind of in love with lo mein. Be my valentine, delicious, salty noodles?

Monday, February 4, 2013

It's been real, Cohens

Two years ago, I would not have predicted that I would watch every episode of "The O.C." Let alone even one episode.

But there ya have it.

People can change, friends. You're lookin' at the proof.

Little piece of trivia: I watched the final episode from inside a pool house. In Southern California.

Just like Ryan Atwood.

And with that,

Saturday, February 2, 2013


There is a book wedged in my sheets. 

This is not the first book to be buried in my bed recently. 

Yes, I'm that girl. I read until I am actually nodding off, clinging to my book until the last possible second of consciousness. 

What is your excuse...for not going to sleep?

Jerry Seinfeld talked in one of his stand-up routines about the forefinger being the last part of the human body to fall asleep at night, because we insist on sitting in front of the TV and changing the channel even when we are exhausted.

I think of that on many occasions when I stay up after my energy reserves are shot, a habit I have 98 percent of the time.

On that note, ZZZZZ. After I watch a few more YouTube videos and brush my teeth. And clear all this stuff off my bed.