DBPSC

I have a problem.

Well. Actually. Lots.

But one in particular: I worry when people leave their garage doors open at night. Close them, People! Do you want people just walking into your house in the middle of the night?!

I don't worry about people getting robbed, I worry about their personal safety. If someone takes your TV, well that's unfortunate, but I would think, 'Well I'm so glad you're all right.' But if someone walks into your house and causes you harm, or they try to rob you, you start stumbling around because you hear them trying to rob you, and then they cause you harm...Friends, for the sake of me and my overactive imagination, please just take the extra second to make sure your garage is closed. I will (literally) sleep better at night if you do.

Sincerely,
The Daily Bailey Public Safety Commission (DBPSC)

Blargen

"Meeting adjourned." I could have kissed the mayor when he said those words at 11pm tonight.

(I just broke two major reporting rules there, by the way; starting my post with a quote and saying both "pm" and "tonight")

After sitting through the five hour city council meeting, I walked out to my car and there was what appears to be ice cream flung all over my windshield, car doors, back window, and roof. There was also the plastic cup that SHOULD STILL BE HOLDING THE ICE CREAM!! on the hood of my car, a plastic spoon resting on my wipers, and a piece of already-sucked-on candy stuck to the hood.

Happy camper? Absolutely not.

But thank you, Mayor, for finally setting us free. And thank you, Michael, for still being awake at midnight to call me in my distress.

Oh, did I mention that I got a parking ticket today too?

Cue Annie: "bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow..."

Regifting of the hand-me-downs

I just tried to make this my facebook profile status and was told I had too many characters to post. So the phone conversation I just had with Patrick will now make its appearance here on the DB:

Patrick: Bailey, I have some CD's I don't want, do you want them?
Bailey: Sure.
P: [lists off CD's]
B: Oh, I don't want Ace of Base [quick overview discussion of how I do enjoy Ace of Base, but they got so overplayed in the late 90s that I need a solid five year break from them before I can appreciate them again].
P: Do you have any friends at school who would want it?
B: Sure, I could take it to class and get rid of it in about 5 seconds [because even though I'm not a current fan, the A of B CD is a hot commodity].
P: I'm not sure you want to be that girl who brings Ace of Base to class.
B: I already am that girl.
P: I know. You're a lovely person, but you've gotta ease people in.
B: I've been here a week, are you kidding me? I've already crossed the line.

C'mon, Patrick. Anyone who knows anything knows that there is no stopping this awkward train.

So. That said. Anyone want an Ace of Base CD?

Education

I have a new best friend. Okay, maybe the "best" title is too much.

His name is "User Manual." Maybe I should change it to User Manuel, because I have a feeling we're in this for the long haul, and a romantic Spanish pet name might be appropriate.

This week, a curious symbol appeared on my phone. It looked to me like nothing more than a small blue square. All I knew was that I was pretty sure it hadn't been there the last time I had looked at my phone. I tried pressing buttons, but to no avail.

So I turned to Manuel.

Who told me that the little blue square was in fact an indicator that I had missed a call. Thanks, Manuel.

Today I ran into a whole new icon-identification problem. This time there was a little blue (faceless) torso displayed on my phone, with some triangulated lines pointing away from his or her head. Wanting to be sure that this didn't mean an alien had tried to contact me, I turned yet again to, yes, you guessed it.

Manuel.

Who informed me that I had not one, but two new voicemails. (Note: it is my understanding that the alien-like blue torso will appear when there is only one voicemail as well, but I will have to test this theory to be sure.)

One message was from Dad, the other from Mom. In case you're wondering.

That darn (cute!) cat

I was planning on writing a snippet on car doors (slamming, etc.--perhaps we will see this post in the future), but I just opened an email in my inbox and decided that tonight we will have a guest writer here on the Daily Bailey. Ladies and Gentlemen (and pets, if any, which I hope there are--reading pets), please welcome my little bro bro, Riley. Here is the email Riley sent me tonight, recording the actions of our father and our family cat, Dibbs, after my parents arrived home from vacation:

"So Mom and Dad just got home.

Here is the cat's response (all within the first 30 minutes):

-fluff tail
-sniff duffel bag
-run away from people
-sniff suitcase
-run away from people
-lie down and submit to petting from Mom
-run away from Riley to back door
-go outside and immediately go nuts chasing bugs
-come back inside, greet Dad
-begin doing his "bury the coffee" move [Dibbs has what Mom calls a "trick," in which he will paw the area around a mug of coffee as if he were burying his litter, because he does not enjoy the smell] all over the living room floor (while Dad flirts with cat)
-continue burying the living room floor (Dad continues to flirt)
-Dad starts cursing
-Dibbs has proceeded to poop right in front of Dad*
-Dibbs lies down in entry way as if nothing is wrong [well in his mind, I suppose nothing was]

the end."

This email was sent with the subject line "dibby...:P" (complete with the tongue-out smiley face emoticon)

*Dear kind landlords of mine, Dibby probably did this because he was confused/excited to see his "dad." He also probably did so because his litter hadn't been scooped in multiple days (usually Mom's or my job). I will be sure to faithfully scoop his litter when he arrives here in his new home so this offense is not repeated. Please do not kick me out. :) Sincerely, Bailey