I think I'm maybe experiencing a stereotypical summer for the first time in my life. I am up late most nights, always tired but always moving, swimming, running, working. Tonight I went to see Annie (holla!) at an outdoor theater--so very summer. What else? There has been a lot of beer (in moderation, just cold beer on hot nights), I've been to the movie theater at least twice...Lots of pizza, I've made new friends.
This is all just so weird for me, because I seldom participate in stereotypical activities. I so often reach a breaking point of too much fun and activity where I say, "See ya" and head home to go to bed while everyone else pretends they're teenagers and stay up 'til 2am.
It feels good to be involved in these communal bonding activities, and it is helping thwart my need to always be different and my always-there-under-the-surface-somewhere feeling of being left out. Lonely in a crowd? Yep, that's me. But maybe I'm shedding a piece of my shell, and popping out is a new limb. One that's not always too cool for school, one that's reaching out for contact with other limbs. Always being different makes you stand out, but it often leaves you always different and thus, always alone in one way or another.
Thoughts...my apologies if I've confused anyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment