Aren't there supposed to be cookies and milk waiting for you at the end of day 1?

Ugh.

Well I am not the poster child for Back to School 2011.

What a ball of nerves I am! I felt so strangely self conscious yesterday, and then spent my afternoon class trying to tune out the list of assignments discussion to try and curb my anxiety.

Then today I sat through my communications law class hoping that the lectures from here on out won't contain so much discussion of violent cases.

Even though I have a lighter load this semester than I had last fall and spring, I am still so nervous I feel paralyzed at the thought of what I have to do this year--prepare a thesis (oh yeah, and pick a topic), conduct research and write a thesis, find a job.

My brother Kelly asked me on the phone yesterday, "How do you eat an elephant?"

One bite at a time.

I knew the answer. Now let's put it into practice. What?! That's not my M.O.! Freak out! Anxiety! That's what I know (and hate)!

I've been told that I've survived one year and that's the hardest part, but I am--I believe, if memory serves--so much more freaked out about Year 2 than I was Year 1.

I was nervous starting last year, yes, but I was naive concerning the amount of work that was in fact coming my way. And then I was in it, and cried a lot, yes, but just did it.

Now I have an idea of what's coming. And last year we had a lot more distance from our theses. Now I'm afraid I'm going to be pressed for a topic any week now. And then I've gotta convince three faculty members to stand behind me while I eek this thing out.

Sigh...

I need to focus on those basic physical needs--making out, ope, I mean food, exercise, sleep--and get tomorrow's homework done. Trustin' the Man along the way.