I think I need breakfast.
But it's 4:15 a.m.
Ah, yes, it's time for some more midnight blogging. Because insomnia.
I stayed in bed for the first hour of the not-sleeping, Max faithfully smashed by my pillow. Read from my third book of the night.
Then, nearing 4 (a.m., not my fourth book), I jumped in the shower. I was shaving my legs and heard very intense crying. Cat crying.
I stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, to discover that for whatever reason the nugget was freaking out. I don't know if it's because I left my helm, or he's perceptive enough to be thrown off by middle-of-the-night bathing or what.
Anyway, he calmed down and now he's taken up residence on the floor, though I've returned to the bed. Feet at the head of the bed, chin on a pillow. Blogging.
It'd be terribly convenient if I didn't have to work later this morning.
I'd sleep -- eventually, assuming, God willing -- and then wake up and have coffee. Would think about making a donut run but ultimately know that I'm too lazy. Write for a bit. Lunch with Alex. Write some more.
I think part of the reason I'm awake is because I have this new person swirling around in my brain.
Her name is Morgan.
She's fiction and I'm writing her story. I'm not crazy, I'm just working on a novel.
I hadn't planned on writing fiction, and I certainly hadn't planned on it keeping me up at night.
I keep thinking of ideas to add to the story. Things she's going to learn in school, things people are going to say to her. How she's going to take it all in, come out on the other side.
I'm tired. But the swirling. The swirling thoughts of Morgan are keeping me up, wired.
I have a complete outline ("complete" if you ignore the things I'm mentally adding to it at 3 a.m.) and am in the middle of chapter 3.
Whoa whoa whoa I'm writing a book. Whoa. And I'm not bored this time around. I previously was working on my memoir, and oh boy was I bored. I always thought, as a reader, that I was more interested in the real than that which is dreamed up, but here I am, bored by my own life enough to abandon writing about it to write about Morgan instead.
But let's be honest, Miss Morgan is a lot like moi.
So, ya know. I haven't lost all my selfishness. Carry on in that assurance.
My gums are swollen, on my bottom row of teeth, the right side of my mouth. Hashtag annoying. I must be grinding my teeth.
I made a pretty baller order form at work yesterday. I decided to put pictures of each product on it, since they're easier to understand visually. I was pretty proud of the way it ended up looking.
It's nice to have some projects at work to keep me busy. But the real fire in my belly right now is Morgan. She's great. She's smart and thoughtful and she has a cat (I told you she was smart).
Am I getting you excited to read about her yet? If you don't like reading about me, then you may not enjoy reading about this alter ego, I hate to disappoint. Also, if you don't like reading about me, then what are you doing reading this blog? Sorry, but it had to be asked.
Loves. May you be sleeping now and always at night (because insomnia is the worst and sleeping at a decent hour is delicious).