Monday, October 5, 2015

Space cadet

There was a donut in my bed when I crawled into it last night.

It wasn't a prank. I put it there.

I had purchased two donuts on Sunday morning, ate one during the car ride home, and then came home and crawled back into bed, because I hadn't slept enough.

Alex, among others, thinks I may have an iron deficiency or something else wrong with me, because these days I cannot sleep enough. I sleep 10-12 hours a night and am still dog tired when I wake up.

Hence -- sort of -- the donut in the bed. I mean, 1, I had had my fill with the first donut, and just didn't need the second one. 2, the second donut became abandoned in my bed, because upon arriving home I settled immediately into my bed, where I seem to belong lately. Thus the donut fell out of my hands onto the mattress as I landed my fatigued body in place for more slumber.

The donut was placed into my bag this morning, and toted with me to work today. It is still yet to be eaten.

It wouldn't be terrible, waistline considering, if it never got eaten.

I had another star-studded moment this weekend, prior to my donut-bed-hoarding.

Alex and I went to an Oktoberfest event at the church where my college friend Caleb pastors. We ate German potato salad and drank beer and talked Kansas (Caleb's a fellow Kansan, so this kind of conversation is obligatory).

And then someone came up to our table and started talking to us.

Alex, being the polite little handsome monster that he is, asked her what she does for a living.

She said something along the lines of this:

"I create the sensors that they use on bridges so that [scientific smart jargon here]."


I could not understand her.

As in, jargon aside, I could not gather the words that were coming out of her mouth, piece by piece.

There were a lot of people talking in the room, and there was polka music playing in the background, further muddling the sound waves near my ears.

So I did the best that my little blonde self can do in situations like this, and I used my rhyming/similar-sounding-words knowledge to aid me. (Previous occasions using this method have proved unsuccessful, so I should maybe think better of this in the future).

I grasped on to the one word that I thought I understood -- she said "bridges," I heard "britches" -- and made my first connection to britches that I could.

My glorious, blonde, master's degree holding response? Read on, dear friend, if you think you can handle it:

"Blue jeans?"

Alex is yet to let this go. I think I made his year with this comment.

Sunday -- when Alex was still quoting, two days later, the infamous blue jeans comment -- we went to see The Martian (it's great) and while we were watching it and I was contemplating how I would for sure die on Mars, I kept thinking, "Space people are smart."

So between the donut, blue jeans, and Matt Damon solving every last problem possible all on his own (and further somehow not losing his mind while being all alone on Mars for over a year), I'm feeling of mediocre intelligence just yet.

I mean, I guess I still feel smart, but let's just say I've had some moments recently to make me wonder.

Blue jeans?


  1. We all know 'blue jeans' is industry parlance for those patches they use on the bridges for traffic amalgamated murgurgamon projections of perpetuitated load bearing frequenciations... etc etc I don't really want to bore you with the details of my important suck facing.

  2. Sorry, I mean that it's not your fault, Bailey. She was probably flexing her own potency in a devious way, you really shouldn't give a flying hoot, she was probably making most of it up anyway, and is not much more than a paper pusher. Probably drops the IQ of anyone who speaks to her for more than a minute by 6% per minute every minute.