Docta!

I just got off the phone with Patrick, and he told me he's going to go play some Dr. Mario. Ahh, Dr. Mario. How I love thee, Dr. Mario.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty awesome at Dr. Mario. Patrick took our original Nintendo to college with him in 2001 and I'm not sure I've ever forgiven him for it, because I'm pretty sure I've only played Dr. Mario a few times since then. As I recall, I have reached level 23 in DM, and if you know the ins and outs of the game then you know that once you beat level 20 all of the levels beyond that are bonus levels and so once you lose, say, level 22, it's back to level 20 for you, Mister. Then you have to beat level 20, 21, and 22 all over again. And the levels get longer and longer, as there are more and more viruses to kill with the red, yellow, and blue pills in the virtual pill bottle. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, you're truly missing out.

You can choose your preferred soundtrack as well. Your two options are "Fever" and "Chill." I don't remember which one, exactly, but I think it was "Chill" that sounded like MC Hammer's "Pray." "We got to pray just to make it today." We would sing that while we played Dr. Mario for hours and hours. I remember one time we had the day off from school, and my mom came home from work and said, "This is where I left you this morning!," because we had been playing DM all day.

Perhaps the best feature of DM is the two-player feature. Two pill bottles side by side, each player can choose their own level and speed, and then you race. Oh it gets even better than just a simple race. If you kill two viruses at once in your bottle, an extra pill falls into your opponent's pill bottle to block their efforts in killing their own viruses. And if you're super speedy like me, then you just stack up the pills, ultimately clogging their bottle and defeating them rather quickly. I had an annoying habit of yelling "Double, comin' your way!" each time I dropped a pill on my brothers' side of the screen. They hated it when I said that, but I really think they hated that I was so good. Just now on the phone with Patrick, he commended my skills; never does one forget when his sister has above average Nintendo skills.

There was this guy in my dorm freshman year who was--I know this is hard to imagine--even better than me at Dr. Mario. His name was Frank, and he was amazing. I can beat level 20 no sweat, but mind you I do so on the low speed level. Frank could beat, I believe, levels 20-25, on the high level. That is some mad skill right there. I got really excited--I know, again, hard to imagine--when I heard that Frank a)had Dr. Mario in his dorm room and b)that he loved to play, so I suggested we have a little Dr. Mario Off. Yeah, I was creamed. What I thought would be a fun bonding moment began to feel like skiing with Picabo Street.

Point being, find yourself an original NES, and play some Dr. Mario! Now! Tonight! Do it for me, the deprived pill popper!