Thursday, May 1, 2014

An art of the twenty something

Balancing an ice cube tray loaded with water while moving swiftly enough to the freezer to begin the freezing process before the freezer door closes.

You may think it's simple, people who live with a door-holder-opener-while-you-leisurely-balance-the-water-filled-slots-across-the-kitchen-floor, but it's not. At least if your freezer door is an ornery little hingersnapper (just made that up -- trademark!) that don't like to remain open for long -- then believe me, it's no easy task.

If I had an inner ear issue going on right now, the water in that tray I just loaded in the fridge-that-is-shorter-than-me-yet-not-a-mini-fridge wouldn't have made it to a frozen state. Sloshed all over the floor it would have done instead.

I have one particular ice cube tray (yes, my two ice cube trays don't match; would you expect anything less?) that I have resigned to taking a measuring cup to, because the carry across the floor task is just too much with this tray. So I pour from the measuring cup spout a lil' H2O into each well and move on with my life which in very few other ways -- aside from this measuring cup pouring task which may seem, well, focused on the minutiae of life that most of us don't own the patience for -- resembles the one which our pal Martha Stewart lives.

Except I do cross stitch. So I think she and I could probably have tea and carry a conversation for a bit. And if, post tea, she asked me to join her in a little gluing of craft sticks, I may just have to cancel all other plans (which likely consisted of watching "Awkward" and not cleaning my apartment anyway (though I still don't like to cancel such plans, if you know me)) and help her out with the gluing of some craft sticks.

Perhaps it could be at this point during our visit that I could ask her advice on transporting ice cube trays to the freezer while avoiding a spillage. Because she's probably thought about that. And she could probably teach me how to multitask and mop the floor as I do this. With some sort of Pine-Sol soaked cloth underneath my feet which I could shuffle on.

I actually just came up with that idea myself, so perhaps I have underestimated myself and could show Ms. Martha a thing or two! ["Here, watch this, M, we can watch TV AND not clean! It's really simple, here, watch me. Just sit, now...stay sitting."]

I may have been listening to/watching a lot of stand up comedy lately, and am perhaps integrating acted out hypothetical interactions into this post as a result...

However I will tell you now that if I tried to shuffle on cloths while doing the ice cube task, it would only increase the spillage factor to a very precise 100% rate of IT WILL HAPPEN.

OK I just digressed a lot there, so.....remember where we were five minutes ago and then meet me in the next paragraph when you're ready (if you're still reading):

So in sum, while getting the ice cube tray to the freezer is a difficult task (and one that I legitimately avoid), due to the ice cube tray balancing athletic prowess I possess, as a result of my twenty-something-single-something-living-alone-without-a-door-holder-opener-in-the-form-of-a-spouse-or-boyfriend-or-roommate status, ice cubes will soon (in some hours) be mine for the taking. And the melting.

[Ooh, that reminds me of this great line of a poem I came across last year that is, of all places, magneted to my shorter-than-me-yet-not-of-mini-status fridge. Here, let me share it:

"Yielding, like ice about to melt." - Tao Te Ching

Ahhhh. Breathe that in again one more time. Nice, eh? It just does something to you, doesn't it? I can't help but take a deep breath or image an ice cube in my mind or practice yielding right when I read it or think it.

As Sadie Saxton says (except never after quoting a poem), You're welcome.]

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