Friday, May 30, 2014

I have issues

At certain points while I was exercising tonight, there were males on either the elliptical or treadmill to my...rear.

Which got me thinking, "Well they have a nice show to watch" (regarding my rear being in their view and me having no way to really know if they were looking at it, because I wasn't really going to turn around and check on them. My eyes were forward, what was I going to do about it?*).

Which then reminded me that I have issues, for thinking such thoughts, and ruminating on them.

Then. Then, I thought about not one but two lines from Disney films that involve a character talking about looking at another character's derriere.

Then I thought about how strange and perhaps inappropriate it is that from two Disney films -- clean, precious Disney films -- I was able to pull these quotes. Not strange and inappropriate on my part, but on the company's part.

OK fine, maybe additionally on my part.

Then I thought about going to Facebook and posting some sort of poll for my friends to see if any of them could name two lines from Disney films regarding looking at another's backside.

[Hint: If you're secretly playing along, I just gave you a big clue by using the word "backside" there.]

I thought about how I would conclude this Facebook poll/game post by writing something like, "If you know these two lines, we might be more connected/better friends than I thought."

Something along those lines.

This is what I do continually, by the way, throughout every day. Think about things to post to social media. If social media is not immediately present ("How is that possible?" you're asking. Flip phone owner, right here.), then maybe one in every 20 ideas experiences an actual life in social media by the time I am able to reach a computer. The same is true for ideas I have for things to write about. Ideas happen regularly, writing about them, not as regularly.

Is anyone keeping a tally of how many issues I have accumulated here? Probably best if you're not, as I have already shaken my head at them while on an elliptical machine thinking about Disney quotes and the people behind me and the "show" that they were [probably not] watching.

So, I will conclude here with: a) the recap of our summary point here, which is that I have issues, in that I think inappropriately about people in the workout room and their perception of me, and I think about social media way too much.

The fact that I can quote several lines from several Disney movies (and may have, in an entirely unrelated phone conversation tonight, sang part of "Part of Your World" to a friend) is not an issue. That's simply a talent and a handy resource.

I will also conclude with b) the reveal of what these two lines are that I know several of you are waiting to hear.

I stand by my previous comment that if you already know what these two lines are, then we are quite connected on a very special level in life. And we should probably be going to Disneyland together.

So, without further babbly ado, I give you:

Line #1: When Sassy says of Chance in Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, "Guess I'm gonna have to stare at your butt the whole way."

Shadow, giddy with the recent reunion with their previously-thought-dead cat companion, laughs jovially at her clever quip. He is so happy to have his sassy Sassy back after her getaway in that cabin with that nice man who gave her goat's milk.

Line #2: A woman at the market in Cool Runnings says, as Olympic-bound Derice runs past her in his shorty short Olympic shorts, with delicious Jamaican resonance, "I could watch that backside all day."

The woman and her friend laugh together, gleeful like girls, holding baskets atop their heads.

What is perhaps most ironic (?) about this story is that the entire time I was working out tonight, I really wanted to watch the Disney channel, but because I never got a moment alone (the workout room was hopping tonight! Friday night, Y'all!) to boldly turn on the TV to whatever channel I wanted, I worked out in silence. Except of course, for my Disney thoughts, which kept me company and followed me back to my apartment which offered an availability of social media.

Ah, the blank canvas of social media. How many of my issues have I shared with the world...

*One of my college friends -- who will remain unidentified in this forum -- once said of the fact that boys living in the dorm across from ours could see her changing if she didn't bother to close her curtains, "Well I hope they enjoy the show." She and I still keep in contact.

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