I am at the Candy Store, can I get anyone anything? Note: by "anything," I mean books, because by "candy store," I mean library.
I am here tweaking ten--count 'em, ten--cover letters for graduate research/teaching assistant positions for the fall, hoping for a full ride from one of them. It is just after 10am on this delightful Friday spring morning, and this place is brimming with adorable old men. I only have one thing to say to that, and that is: