I just finished writing the second of two emails to my friend Nick (1st email said "I am stressed," actually it said "I am STRESSED," to which Nick replied "why are you STRESSED?," which brought us to the second of my two emails:) and provided him with my list of stressors. I listed "tired" at least four times, maybe five.
People, it is like I eat yet am still hungry, exercise yet have no energy, sleep yet wake up tired. And I am so worn out from taking the GRE once and now studying for it a second time (even though I got a, cough,
perfect score on one section, but NOT GOOD ENOUGH on another!!!! (but I'm not bitter about it)), poring over journalism program websites, sometimes for fifteen minutes just to find when the application is due, yet I look back on all my cutesie calendars I have made for this grad school adventure timeline and realize I am still at the very beginning of this trail. Hence I am a little grumpy. I go to work and just kind of put on my blinders and steam the milk for the lattes. I speak when spoken to; if nothing else I suppose I am getting in touch with my inner Laura Ingalls Wilder. Come to think of it, that's a pretty great piece of the inner self to get in touch with.
Bottom line, while everything else is certainly legitimate in its ability to bog me down, intimidate the crap out of me thus fueling me to constantly fight back with my inner voice yelling back at the intimidation, "I can and will do this!", I am just tired. I need a nap but have to work. My legs are sore but I feel guilty doing yoga because the flash cards are calling. I had some desire to hit up the treadmill today, but the desire to shower was greater.
I hope this post has been at least somewhat amusing rather than depressing or annoying or, please no, boring. Just wanted to give the warning about arming thyself with vitamins and gumption. Got it? Vitamins and gumption. Gumptiamin (that sounds cool the way I am pronouncing it, although I'm not sure the phonics were translated to blog in a quality manner. My apologies). And when I am all done with this, because, quite frankly, I can't gather the energy from my meager supply of gumption--this word is addicting--to do so now, perhaps we can form a grad school application support line. Taking 3am phone calls with frantic screaming on the other line, "I don't care what the *&%# 'esoteric' means!!!" or, "I seem to have sent my recommendation letters to the wrong school..."
Okay enough for now. I have to eat/sleep now, before the work cycle, followed by the shower/food/break, eventually followed by the study portion of the awful grad school stress cycle. Again! Sorry! Debbie Downer! Okay, signing off now before I take this any further!