Busted by the fashion police

I saw my friends Deniz and Tony today.

Deniz promptly asked me if I got my jacket in the third grade.

"No, I got it over break. At Macy's."

Shortly following, as I was showing them how my favorite jeans had finally ripped in the knee, Tony asked if I had patched it.

"No."
"Well then what's underneath it?"
"My long johns with spaceships on them!!" [Raises pant leg to reveal them.]
"Those are awesome, but it's not that cold out! And you tucked them into your socks?! It's really not that cold out!"

Yes, it really is that cold out. High tomorrow of 17. Just saying.

As I was re-covering my long johns with my jeans--you know, to keep the heat in--Deniz said, "Wait, wait. Put your leg back up here."

He then proceeded to examine and point out each element of the sock and pant portions of my outfit.

Like an HGTV salesman, he said things like,

"First, we have a short, pink sock," while lifting the sock for viewers like Tony to get a better glimpse.

"Underneath that we have a pale blue sock, with cats on it.
Tucked into the socks are pants with spaceships on them.
And then we have jeans."

Audience member Tony then had a question for the model.

"So what you're saying is, your clothes aren't from third grade, but you dress like you're in the third grade."

Precisely.