This is the duration of my phone call with Pops just now.
I was trying to file the FAFSA, and then I got confused about my deadline, based on state of legal residence, blah blah.
So I called him with a quick question and then ended up stressing him out (sorry, Pops. Bless your heart). Well we were stumped by two questions on the form and Dad whipped out some magical form that acts as a calculator and he asked for some numbers and I gave them to him and eventually he said "enter this number" and I said "how high!"
(That was supposed to be a play on the classic joke, "When I say 'jump' you say 'how high?!,'" and then pairing that with my total and utter cluenessness in Tax Land, causing me to just blindly do what my Dad says since I don't know how the H to figure it out on my own...Then as soon as I typed it I thought, ha ha, that's funny, because I should really be saying "how LOW?" because I made verrrrrrrry little money last year and so THEN I thought it would be funny if in reality I had said to my Dad "how high?!" because it'd be like I was acting like I was surprised at how rich I am when in reality I'm buying store brand Pop Tarts for a reason (i.e., not rich)...)
So prior to my phone call to Dad, I was calculating my gross income or something and it asked for my "dividends." So I googled "what are dividends on fafsa" and the first hit I got cracked me up!
One person asked the question: "What are dividends for FAFSA worksheet? in the income estimating what is that dividends part, I don't understand it?" and then someone replied:
"They are investments. If you don't know what they are, you probably don't have any."
To this I say (while laughing out loud at the person's response and the awesome truth of it),
I don't know what investments are, this guy says that probably means I don't have any, moving right along. Next question, please!
I used to date a guy who was studying accounting...Maybe I should head over to the business college on campus and start, ya know, hangin' around...See if any cuties wanna help me with my taxes...